Wednesday, December 12, 2018

INQUIRING MINDS WANT TO KNOW

A few years back I posted about nagging questionsI have since accumulated a bunch more.  I realize that these are petty, First-World concerns, and yet they continue to nag. 

So, here we go again:

WHY DO:

- people start letters to the editor with the words, "I read with interest . . . ."?   

Well, of course, you did or you wouldn't be writing. 

- people refer to their parents as "mom" and "dad" (as opposed to "my mom" or "my dad"), when talking about them to someone not their sibling?  

Always throws me.  Are you inviting me to join your family?  As a sibling?  With full inheritance rights?



- people on TV shows wake in bed together and start kissing? 

 Don't they have morning mouth? Don't they have to pee?

- airlines charge for the aisle seats in the last few rows in coach?  

It's bad enough to be packed in like sardines, without having people hang over you while they wait to use the loo. The airlines should pay us to sit there.

- companies, such as Kaiser Permanente, release ads with the tagline, "brought to you by Kaiser Permanente, who believes . . . ."     

Seriously?  The bean counters don't really think I will believe Kaiser Permanente is a person, do they?  (Yeah, I know what the Supreme Court has opined, but sometimes it is just wrong.)

- radio news reporters sign off with, "In New York, I'm Jane Smith"?  

And who are you in Boston?

- nonfiction writers (especially writers of self-improvement books) tend to sprinkle exclamation points everywhere!!!!!!!?  

If you haven't made your point without an exclamation point, try again!!!  

- political candidates and causes send me multiple, alarm-laden emails every day?  

Do they not know that, given the volume, I will delete them all  (without reading) each morning? I do care about the causes and the candidates, but reading all of these emails would send me into a coma, alarms not withstanding.

- business types use terms such as "data points." skill set," and "price point"?  

"Data," "skills," and "price" served us well enough until the MBAs took over. 

- millennials say "no worries" instead of "you're welcome."  

Well, I wasn't worried . . .

- millennials say "perfect" ( pronounced "puurrr -fict," with a slight rise in voice on the last syllable) instead of "ok" or "thank you" when I am, say, answering questions on a form for them?  

Do I look like a kindergartener learning her letters?

BONUS QUESTION:

- Why do faucet sensors have so much trouble detecting my hands?  

Am I a ghost?


Stepping off my soapbox now, I remain, perplexedly yours.

Photo by Emily Morter on Unsplash