MORE NAGGING QUESTIONS

                                   Photo by Matt Walsh

Gentle reader - I once again find myself bedeviled by questions large and small, important and not so important, some keeping me awake at night - others not so much.  There is no natural order to these questions; they, in fact, make for rather a lumpy stew, which I suppose is a reflection of the state of my mind. . . . 

Here goes:

Why did the neighbor on the corner of my block still have a 12-foot-tall skeleton on display in his front yard four months after Halloween? (It disappeared this morning, just as I sat down to write this post.  The neighborhood sends its thanks.) 

Why does the neighbor across the street from the skeleton-displaying house still have Christmas lights up two months into the new year?  I like festive lights during the holiday season as much as anyone, but the juxtaposition of these lights with daffodils and other spring blooms is a bit jarring.

Why is the pull-off backing on pills not pull-off-able? You know the ones I mean.  They look like this.

Am I the only person who is not able to remove the backing without a wrestling match involving scissors and a good deal of swearing?

How does almost every single actor* (regardless of the age of the actor) in almost every single TV show or movie have teeth that resemble chiclets? Perfectly square, perfectly even, blindingly white. Are they veneers?  

Are they chiclets?

Bonus question:  Why has no one found a cure for the common cold?

Turning now to more serious subjects:

Why has the president who promised no wars on his watch started a war in the part of the world that most resembles a tinderbox, without bothering to seek authorization from Congress? 

Would the most cowardly Congress in my lifetime have stopped him if he had sought authorization? 

Before starting this war, why did our president threaten to attack Iran if it did not stop killing its citizens, even as he was sending forth ICE agents in our own country to terrorize and kill our citizens? 

Can anyone spell hypocrisy? 

Believe me, I have no admiration for the Iranian government, but are we really venturing into the Middle East again after the debacle in Iraq?

Have we learned nothing?

Why does the nation with the second-largest nuclear stockpile in the world (Russia has us beat) -- the same nation that is the only nation to have deployed a nuclear weapon against the citizens of another country -- feel free to criticize and attack other countries for trying to develop nuclear weapons?

Of course, I don't want any more countries to obtain nuclear weapons. But, as every parent knows, "Do as I say, not as I do" is not an effective message.  Perhaps cutting back our own stockpile would be a good start to making us seem less hypocritical.  (There's that word again.)

Asking for a friend - Is it possible that this war is an attempt to distract us from the high cost of groceries?  From the Epstein scandal? From our broken healthcare system?

Why are corporate leaders--and the members of Congress they have bought--still putting profits ahead of environmental concerns?  Do they not have children or grandchildren?  If they do have progeny, do they think said progeny will be able to eat, drink, and breathe profits?

Has our president read the U.S. Constitution?  If so, can he or one of his minions please point to the part of the Constitution that supports his claim that the recent Supreme Court opinion declaring many of his tariffs to be illegal was "unconstitutional"?  Has anyone told him that the definition of "unconstitutional" is not "something I don't like"?  

Why has Congress (I'm looking at you, Republicans) freely ceded its power to the president? 

Sigh.  I think I need to lie down.

*Per my actor daughter, the term "actor" covers both males and females. 

SOME THOUGHTS ABOUT THE CATCHER IN THE RYE

Like many of you, I read The Catcher in The Rye in High School.  I think I liked it.  I don't really remember. 

As my recollection is hazy, I will share this description I found on the internet: 

  

Holden [the teenage protagonist] explains to [his sister] Phoebe that all he wants to be is the catcher in the rye. He pictures himself wearing a giant mitt, ready to catch kids as they fall off a cliff while playing in the rye. The kids represent childhood. The field represents innocence. The fall from the cliff represents the fall from innocence. 

 

I expect we talked about this theme of lost innocence in my English class, but I, at 15 or 16, was barely out of childhood myself. How could I have known what Holden was getting at? Fast forward twenty years to when I had children of my own, and I would have gladly accepted the assistance of Holden’s mitt.

 

I remember looking at my daughters when they were very young and wishing I could protect them from whatever heartaches lay ahead.**  And now, with the world feeling ever more perilous, I wonder what challenges - personal or societal – my grandchildren will face. 

 

Lately, though, my desire to protect others from harm extends beyond children. I don’t just want to preserve the innocence of the young; I want to keep children and adults alike safe from harms and heartbreak of all sorts.  Every day, I encounter or hear about people who are hurting. Today, a friend let me know that the husband of a dear friend of hers had died.  My heart ached for my friend’s friend, although I had never met her.

 

Every day, I read news about people who are living in war zones, hungry and afraid.  I hate my helplessness in the face of this anguish. When I learn of people who have lost their jobs, who are homeless, who are lonely, I want to protect them. I want Holden’s giant mitt to hold back the bombs, to carry food and blankets.

 

Of course, I can barely save myself, let alone anyone else. None of us has much control over very much, really.  At least that’s what we discover when life pulls the rug out from under us. That's what I discovered when my husband was diagnosed with cancer.

 

So, here's what I am (perhaps naively) asking myself today. Isn’t it enough that nature throws illness, hurricanes, floods, earthquakes etc. our way?  Why must we manufacture more destruction?  Why do we rain bombs on civilians? Why do we allow children to go hungry?  Why do we look away from anguish?  Why don't we pool and direct our talents and resources toward helping one another?  We know how to do this. When a natural disaster occurs, people show up to rescue and comfort each other.  When my husband fell sick, then died, friends and family showed up to help us, then me. Why can’t we approach one another with kindness all the time?  Why must humans be so infernally, so maddeningly cruel and self-destructive?

I know what you’re thinking.  It’s human nature to make war. To hoard wealth.  To look the other way.  

 

Maybe.

 

But, "human nature" notwithstanding, I think it's worth it to open our hearts, put on our mitts, and see what can be done.

And as I don't know where to begin, let's start with kindness and generosity close to home.  Perhaps the next step will then become clear.  

May it be so.  

    

                                                                  marek-studzinski-eaHMb9UJT0I-unsplash.jpg

** I wrote about this desire to keep my daughters safe here: https://woacanotes.blogspot.com/2015/03/luck-be-lady_21.html

SOME THOUGHTS ON WAR

When I was a child, my mother frequently referred to “The War,” by which she meant World War II, the war she and my father had survived in Glasgow, Scotland. 

 

I did not know what war was, but I had a vivid imagination, or so my mother always said.  Here is what my four- or five-year old mind came up with:  I pictured two single-file lines of men facing each other.  The men at the front of each line would step forward and engage in a sword fight. (Why swords?  I have no idea.). When one fell, the next person in line would step forward.  If it rained, everyone would put on raincoats.  This would continue until one line was empty. The men remaining in the other line would “win.”  (A bit like the card game War, only more bloody.) 

 

I don’t remember when my early vision of warfare was replaced with something closer to the truth.  I was seven when Nikita Khruschev declared to representatives of several Western countries, “We will bury you.”  That was pretty scary. (Of course, I pictured the Soviet leader with a shovel . . .. )  I was almost 12 by the time of the Cuban Missile Crisis.  Certainly, by then I knew enough to be terrified by the thought of missiles attacking New York City, which was only a few miles from my New Jersey home. Also terrifying was the dawning realization that our earth bristled with nuclear weapons, poised to wipe out whole nations.  I remember thinking – These weapons are everywhere, and no one asked if I wanted them.

 

The Vietnam War was raging while I was in high school and college.  I marched with others trying to convince our government to bring the troops home.  Before that war was over, around 50,000 American soldiers--my peers, and God know how many Vietnamese civilians, had been killed.  

Since then, America has been involved in two Gulf wars and a war in Afghanistan, and we have continued to arm nations all over the world.  

 

I am thinking about war today, as battles continue in Gaza and Ukraine and Congo and Darfur, among other places.  And as I think about war, here are some of the questions that come up for me:

 

What would I do to defend my family?

 

Is it different to defend a nation?

 

How exactly should we define “defense”?  Where would I draw the line?  (Our Department of Defense was called the Department of War until 1949. Was that more honest?). 

 

My parents’ city was bombed during WWII.  Should they have waved white flags and become German?

 

Is there a difference between self-defense and revenge?  

 

Is revenge still sweet if it leads to an endless cycle of violence?

 

Is it ok to go to war to rescue people who are being oppressed, imprisoned, or tortured?  

 

What about the fact that the military straightens some people out?  Gives them a career path.  Does this justify what Eisenhower called the Military-Industrial Complex?

 

What is a "just war"?  Who gets to decide?

 

What does it mean to have "rules of war”?  If we can come up with rules of war, can’t we come up with another way to sort things out?

 

Are we the only species that attacks itself?

 

Japan and Germany were our sworn enemies 80 years ago, and now they are close allies.  Can’t we find a way to skip the enemy stage and go straight to being friends?  

 

Candidates are vetted for military service.  Could we also vet them for compassion and diplomatic skills?

 

If we’re going to send young people to war, can we at least take care of them when they get home?  Mightn’t there be a need for some help with adjusting to civilian life after serving?  

 

Can we fully fund the VA before spending more money on military hardware?

 

Come to think of it, can we make sure everyone in America is fed, clothed, and housed before we build any more missiles?  

 

 

I don’t think I ever shared my early understanding of war with anyone.  As methods of managing conflict go, it may seem bizarre, but really, is it any more bizarre than raining bombs on civilians? Might it not be more efficient and less costly to wage war in the manner conceived by my childish self?  If we must go to war, could we maybe ask for a dozen volunteers from each side to engage in the sword fight, and have that decide the matter? 

 

Just a thought.

                                    Photo by Provincial Archives of Alberta on Unsplash

 

WHEN DID IT ALL GO WRONG? (and how shall we meet the moment?)

Here I am living my life in a western nation, a supposedly "civilized" nation, a nation of plenty.  So, why did I lie awake last night wondering if I am living in hell?

Well, there was the debate -- a string of lies from the Republican candidate and confusion from our current president.  Although, to be fair, the liar himself frequently spews whole nonsensical paragraphs at his rallies.  Let's face it - they are both too old.  

And yet, this is our choice.

Then there was the attempted assassination of the Republican candidate. Look, if you have been reading my blog for a while or if you know me personally, you know it would be an understatement to say I do not wish to see him in the White House again.  That does not mean, however, that I want someone to shoot him.  I have lived through three assassinations.  These shootings tear at the  fabric of our democracy, along with the bodies at which they are aimed.  

Here's another reason why I couldn't sleep last night.  I made the mistake of looking at the news before going to bed.  I am usually wise enough not to do this.  I guess I had a lapse in judgment.  I watched a video of three different young white men angrily threatening violence in response to the attempted assassination.  

How is anyone sleeping these days?

I haven't even mentioned climate change or the recent Supreme Court decision, granting monarch-like powers to the President, or attempts to drag women back to the 1950s, not to mention the wars in Gaza, Ukraine, Sudan, and Somalia.  I just can't go there today.  

When did the pile-up begin? Was it 9/11?  Was it Sandy Hook?  Was it Parkland?  (Too many mass shootings to list here.) Was it January 6?  Was it the pandemic?  

Is it just that I have lived long enough to be feeling the pile-up?  I did, after all, grow up during the Cold War, which brought with it the Cuban Missile Crisis and the threat of nuclear annihilation.  There were also the aforementioned assassinations--two Kennedys and Martin Luther King, Jr, the Vietnam War, and more.  

Of course, things were pretty bad before my time.  My father lived through two world wars, my mother through one.  They endured the bombing of their city during the Second World War.  

Really -- Was there ever a time when things were ok?  I have a friend whose father once asked her when in the past she might like to have lived.   She had to tell him that, as a woman, she could think of no time in the past when she would have wanted to live.   

Sorry to dump all of this on you.  Maybe I'm feeling overwhelmed because of my lack of sleep last night.  Tonight, I will not read the news before bed, and tomorrow I will be able to heed these words from the late historian Howard Zinn, posted by a friend on FB this morning:

To be hopeful in bad times is not just foolishly romantic.  It is based on the fact that human history is a history, not only of cruelty, but also of compassion, sacrifice, courage, What we choose to emphasize in this complex history will determine our lives.  If we only see the worst, it destroys our capacity to do something.  If we remember those times and places--and there are many--where people have behaved magnificently, this gives us the energy to act, and at least the possibility of sending this spinning top of a world in a different direction.

And if we do act, in however small a way, we won't have to wait for some grand utopian future. The future is an infinite succession of presents, and to live now as we think human beings should live, in defiance of all that is bad around us, is itself a marvelous victory.

So, friends, let us take heart.  Let's live now as we think human beings should live, in defiance of all that is bad around us.

Let us be radically kind. 

 

In the words of Mr. Rogers, let us look for the helpers.  

 

Let us be the helpers.

                                              Photo by Lina Trochez on Unsplash

 

 

 

 

SUFFERING THE INSUFFERABLE

I have been thinking this morning about a brief exchange I had with a friend several years ago.  We had met for lunch, and as we took our seats in the restaurant, I exclaimed, "I'm starving."

She looked at me very seriously and said, “I have never been starving a day in my life." 

I felt suitably chastened for my hyperbole. 

Here are some things I have suffered in the course of my long life:

    Heartbreak

    Insomnia

    Depression

    Illness and physical pain

    The illness and physical pain of loved ones

    The death of loved ones

I mean in no way to downplay these, but today as I take in the horrors experienced by Israelis at the hands of Hamas and the terror being rained upon Palestinians by Israel, I am contemplating the fact that, whatever I may have suffered to date, I have always had a roof over my head, enough to eat, electricity (save for the occasional power outage), hot and cold running water, and the means to control the temperature in my home. 

So, no I have never experienced starvation.  I have also never had to flee my home.  Here are some other things I have never experienced:

     A rocket attack or any other devastation of life in a war zone  

     Forceable separation from loved ones

     Awaiting news of a loved one trapped in a war zone or awaiting news of a kidnapped loved one 

     Learning that a loved one has been killed by terrorists or rocket attacks.                                         

In making this list, I am only too well-aware that there, but for fortune, go I. And as I have walked through this day, wrestling with the juxtaposition of my good fortune and the awfulness of this war, these lines from the poet William Stafford have been running through my head: 

    Your life you live by the light you find

    and follow it on as well as you can,

    carrying through darkness wherever you go

    your one little fire that will start again.

In my helplessness before the misery of others, Stafford’s words inspire me to raise this prayer: 

    May those who are suffering the insufferable find light.

    May we, who live in comfort, lift our lights high for those who cannot find their own.  

    And may we humans, at last, learn to live in peace before our folly leaves us all in darkness.

Photo by David Tomaseti on Unsplash