WORDS TO LIVE BY

I am not one for New Year’s resolutions, but I do like the idea of choosing a word or words to set the tone for the new year.  There are those who settle on one word; I prefer to choose three.  

 

Here, in alphabetical order, is the list I started with for 2026:  

 

Acceptance

Appreciation

Courage

Creativity

Faith

Focus

Forgiveness

Generosity

Gratitude

Hope

Kindness

Patience

Service

 

After much contemplation, nay agonizing, I have settled on these three:

 

Acceptance

Courage

Gratitude

 

(This is not to say the others will not guide my intentions for the new year, but contemplating more than three on a daily basis could lead to an inability to focus on any of them.)

 

Here is why I chose these three.  

 

Acceptance

 

As those who follow this blog know, this has been a challenging year for me. When something devastating happens – the death of one’s husband, say, or the totaling of one’s car -- the first reaction (mine anyway) is to fight against the reality of the event, to utter an elongated noooooooo.  It is difficult to take in a huge, unwanted life change.  The mind rebels.  But sooner or later, we must accept the reality that this is the way things are – there is no turning back. 

 

This is true not only for personal, but also for community or global happenings. Gun violence, wars, political insanity – all of these are real.  I will say again, as I have said before, acceptance is not resignation.  Once we stop fighting reality, we can figure out what to do about it.  Resignation will not lead to action, but acceptance just might allow us to move forward with our lives after a great loss or to move in the direction of healing our broken world. 

 

Courage

 

Acceptance requires courage.  It takes courage to move forward in the face of loss, to take steps, however small, toward addressing the heartbreaking realities present in our world.  I’m not sure what these steps might be, but I intend look for them in the new year and to try to move forward with courage.  (Suggestions are welcome.)

 

Gratitude

 

Gratitude is a great healer.  When I become teary over my husband’s absence, I will try to remember to be grateful for the time we had, and to think back over happy moments. 

 

Gratitude also leads to contentment. Noticing what we have is a great way to stop regretting what we do not have. The other morning, I turned up the heat and experienced a moment of pure gratitude for my functioning furnace. Sometimes, I stand in the shower and feel gratitude for hot, running water. Occasionally, in a grocery store, I look about me and feel amazement at the bounty on the shelves.  (This helps a bit with my shock at ever-rising prices.) 

 

And what will I do now that I have chosen my three words?  

Well, I have posted them in my office and will add them to the notes on my phone.  I will try to remember to contemplate them on a regular basis in the hope that they will ease my path through the new year. 

                                                                        Photo by Martino Pietropoli on Unsplash

 

 May you find words that will do the same for you. 

 

WORDS, WORDS, WORDS

 

 

I came across a new-to-me word while doing a puzzle the other day.  The word was “heteronym.”  Here is the most straightforward definition I could find:

 

“[O]ne of two or more homographs (such as a bass voice and bass, a fish) that differ in pronunciation and meaning.”   - Merriam-Webster.

 

I tell you this, not to present you with a word that might also be new to you, but to share my geek-ish excitement over the discovery. 

 

I experienced a similar delight this morning, when, once again, working on a puzzle, I learned that temperament has an “a” in it.  I hadn’t known this. I did know that temperature had an “a” in it, but English spelling is a tricky business, and it had not occurred to include an “a” in temperament.

 

As you may by now have surmised, I love words.  

 

I have loved words ever since I can remember -- ever since I sat in an overstuffed chair in my childhood living room, sounding out “See Dick run.  See Jane run.” ** This is one of those vivid memories, complete with physical details -- I can see and feel the nubby, brownish material of the chair -- that stick in the mind.  Who knows why?  I call them snapshot memories – nothing to surround them – they just loom out of a black hole. 

   

Here is a snapshot memory of me that a friend shared recently:  

 

It is maybe 40 years ago.  We are walking across Tenth Avenue in downtown Portland, when I ask her what she thinks about while walking around.  She, a yoga teacher, tells me she is always looking at people and thinking about whether their bodies are in alignment.  When she asks me the same question, I tell her I am usually thinking about words.  

 

I don’t remember this exchange, but it absolutely rings true. It is of a piece with my own word-related memories.  Here is one:

 

I am in my early twenties and am at the home of a much-older couple with whom I am friends.  I am telling the man, whom I much admire, about a dream or series of dreams, and I say, “They were just short vignettes, really.“   

 

Here’s the thing.  I pronounce “vignette” as “vidge-net.”  

 

Decades later, I can still remember the look that flickered across his face.  Was it surprise?  Suppressed laughter?  The man in question, being older and wiser and quite kind, refrained from saying anything. Bless him.

 

It was probably several years before I learned the word’s proper pronunciation.  Sadly, the passage of time had not erased the memory of my friend’s look.  I was retrospectively embarrassed.  

 

What can I say?  I had never studied French, but was an avid reader, scooping up words as I read.  I had a vast reading vocabulary.  That is, I had learned a great many words that I had never heard spoken.  With the passage of time, this memory no longer brings embarrassment, only compassion for a young woman who loved words, whether or not she could pronounce them.

 

One more memory.  I am in elementary school.  I am nine or ten.  For homework, we are to make a list of homonyms (not to be confused with the aforementioned heteronyms). This is right up my alley. But, do I stop at making the list?  Oh, no.  I am so pleased with my list that I staple it to piece of colored construction paper and staple another piece of construction paper on top as a cover, upon which I write these words:  

 

“Even though I am a busy teenager, I always have time for homonyms.”  I can still see the stick figure of a teenager that I drew alongside these words.  In memory, her skirt is a triangle, and she is carrying a purse.  I can still see myself proudly handing this creation to my teacher.  What was I thinking?  What did I imagine being a teenager would be like? Words and a purse, apparently.

 

As a matter of fact, I remained a word geek throughout my teenage years and beyond.  I memorized miles of poetry during high school and college – not by trying, but by osmosis, by reading the ones I loved, over and over again.  (To this day, I can recite many of these poems, but don’t ask me what I read last week . . .)

 

My love of words has not changed in the decades since I memorized all that poetry.  I am most happy when I am reading, writing, or thinking about words. Looking back, I see them as a major throughline of my life. 

 

And you?

 

What is it that has followed you throughout your life?  Where is it that you feel most aligned with yourself? 

 

                                                Photo by Glen Carrie on Unsplash

 

** Books for early readers have greatly improved since the 1950s.  If you are too young to remember Dick and Jane books, be grateful.