AM I ELDERLY?: Who Gets to Decide?

Recently, I have been noticing that people in their 60s and 70s are often referred to as "elderly."  

I am 71.

I do not feel elderly.

My husband says I do not look elderly.  Of course, he is 77 . . .

To be honest, it is more how I feel than how I look that concerns me as I get older.  When I was 65, I wrote a post in which I put my psychic age at 40.  Now, I might put it at 45 or 50.  Physically, I feel as well as I did in my 50s.  So, how am I suddenly in the elderly crowd?

Of course, whether one is viewed as elderly is a matter of both the age of the viewer (to a 20-year-old, a 40-year-old is over-the-hill) and the cultural and demographic circumstances.

I remember being surprised when Dickens, in one of his novels, described a gentleman in his 50s as elderly.  But, then again, I read in a recent NY Times article that the average life span in 1850 was 35. So, one making it to 50 in Dickens' day would, indeed, be well-along -- living on borrowed time.  

In this day and time, however, when people are living longer and longer, I view 80 as the beginning point of the elderly years.  (And I reserve the right to push that back if I am still feeling fine at that point.)

So far, each decade of my life has been better than the last.  Perhaps the time to call myself elderly will be when that changes.  In the meantime, I hope to stay as healthy as possible, regardless of what labels are applied to me. 

A few years back, I read a book by Dr. Andrew Weil about healthy aging.  He wrote that people seem to believe that if they exercise and eat well, they will never die.  In fact, according to Weil, the point of all those healthy habits is to stay healthy and active for as long as possible.  In his estimation, the best outcome, is a long and healthy life, followed by a speedy decline.

That would work for me.  Where do I sign up?  I watched my mother's slow decline after age 90 and do no wish to go that route.  It's not that I have a precise age in mind for my speedy decline.  It's really a matter of circumstances.  If I had my druthers, I would live only as long as these three things are true:

- I am healthy enough to take pleasure in my life

- I have not outlived all of my peers

- I have not outlived my savings

Of course, we don't get to make these decisions, do we?  I could have a speedy decline next year or I could live long beyond the expiration of my three requirements.  

I will, therefore, let go of thinking I can predict or control the future and, for now, I will continue to spend my time pursuing my many interests and tending to my relationships.  When else in life have I had the kind of time I have now to do this?

So, call me elderly if you must, but as I have written before, this phase of life really is the best of times.