I read that chocolate stimulates the same part of the brain as marijuana. They did a big study.
They shouldn’t have bothered. I could have told them that.
Same with sex. The guys with the lab coats had to plaster electrodes on people to find out that chocolate is the next best thing to sex. Well, duh.
The truth is that chocolate is the next-best thing to virtually every cosmic pleasure, and far surpasses the more pedestrian gratifications. I mean, which would you choose – bowling or chocolate?
Then there are the pleasures that chocolate enhances – reading, bathing, walking. And the activities that it renders tolerable – dishwashing, vacuuming, routine office work. Sure there are other foods that heighten pleasure or distract from tedium, but would you eat a burrito in the bathtub? Could you eat a plate of spaghetti while washing windows? Simultaneously, I mean.
Chocolate is a compact and portable delight with an efficient pleasure-delivery system. In fact, if you’re not too fussy about nutritional value, chocolate may be the perfect food. Oh sure, there’s the caffeine and the sugar, but consider the sensual pleasure. Imagine a sliver of bittersweet chocolate on the tongue, slowly melting with the body’s heat, conforming itself to the very shape of the mouth. Imagine chocolate surreptitiously licked from a finger, the singular momentary rush. Now imagine, say, a cheeseburger.
Chocolate is nature’s way of reminding us that eating doesn’t always have to be a serious business, and that small pleasures are all around us, if we will only pay attention.
If I have not yet succeeded in convincing you of chocolate’s superior virtues, let me leave you with this question: Who would you rather kiss -- the person who just ate a piece of chocolate or the one who just ate a hot dog?
I rest my case.