If life is a river, why is mine filled with silt? Some Thoughts on Facebook three years in.

Let’s say life is a river.  I know, as metaphors go, this one’s not exactly original.  But humor me while I tease it out a bit.  A life flows like a river until, at death, it merges with the sea of the eternal.  Given this metaphor, here’s my question:  If life is a river, why is mine filled with silt?

The answer in a word:  Facebook.

Here’s how I see it.  The river of life flows along.  We have an experience and when the experience is behind us, it settles to bottom of the river--like silt.  Some experiences – those that are traumatic or glorious or in some way dramatic - take longer to settle.  The water stays muddy a bit longer.  But, as a rule, these eventually settle as well, remaining at the bottom of the river, quiescent  except when, say, we look at an old photograph or hear a song that formed the background of a pivotal moment. 

And then along comes Facebook and stirs up the silt.

Suddenly my past is part of my daily life.  Sometimes this is wonderful.  I have been happy to reconnect with people and learn where they are in their lives.  Some of them have re-emerged as current friends.

But sometimes the reconnections are dislocating.  I know more about the day-to-day lives of people whom I barely knew 40 years ago than I know about the lives of many of the people who matter most to me today. 

And sometimes I have to take a breather.   Let the silt settle for a while.  Remember where I am right now and who has my back today.  Sometimes I am even moved to call someone.  On the telephone.  To make a date to spend time with a flesh and blood person.  Sometimes the silt reminds me to tend to what really matters right now.

So, I'm dedicating this, my first blog post, to the friends with whom I sat and talked for a couple of hours -- in person -- yesterday morning and to the friends who joined my husband and me last night for another few hours of great conversation.  And to my book group, and to all those who continue, against the digital tide, to take the time and risk to have a face-to-face or, at least a voice-to-voice, conversation.  

copyright 2012 Marjorie A. Speirs