Sunday, December 20, 2020

SOME DAYS : Notes on Pandemic Life Nine Months In

Some days I feel like I am holding my breath.

Some days I breathe easy.

Some days I don't want to answer my phone.

Some days I don't want to look at my email or texts.

Some days I avoid the news.

Some days I just want to watch the birds at my feeders.

Some days I miss my family and friends so much my jaw aches.

Some days I am grateful for Zoom, Skype, FaceTime.

Some days I wish they had never been invented.

Some days I walk with a friend.

Some days I walk by myself.

Some days I get lost in a book or a jigsaw puzzle.

Some days I write.

Some days I knit.

Some days I can't settle to anything.

Some days I try to do some good.

Some days I can't think what that could look like.

Some days I know that my cup runneth over.

Some days I can't feel it. 

Some days I am grateful.

Some days I pray for those who suffer in body, mind, or spirit.

Some days I remember that is everyone.

Some days I want to weep.

Some days I want to sing.

Some days I wish I were a frontline worker doing some good.

Some days I am (selfishly) glad I am not.

Some days I grieve for those who have died.

Some days I rejoice to still be here.

Every day I wait to see what will come next.












15 comments:

  1. Some day this will all be over and hopefully the Phoenix will rise.

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    1. Mostly, I am just like you, feeling the gamut of emotions. I work very hard to find some perspective that allows me to sleep at night. Sometimes I am tired from trying so hard. 💗

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  2. Most days I cry soon after waking.
    Most days I re-group and create structure .
    Some days I desperately wish I had been born in another time.
    Most days I walk, with sweet pup ,Romeo, and find hope.
    Some days I struggle to make sense/find perspective.
    Some days I stay in grief around now knowing so many more than we thought are not invested in the best and highest outcomes for all.
    Some days I ponder universal connectedness , and hope we all learn and grow from this incredible time.
    Most days I am certain the task of we elders is to hold steady for the youth and all those we love.

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    1. Thank you, Zanne. Yes. Holding steady. (I never wish I had been born in another time. I can't think of one that would have been better for me as a female.)

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  3. It's important to remember that it is all about change - whether we want it or not.

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  4. Yes, necessary, uninvited change for sure ...and..an incredible amount of grief around some of us beginning to understand the depth of pain so many have endured for so long.

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  5. I think you are not alone in the gamut of your emotions. Some days I am very angry that people do not believe in science and put themselves before their community. I definitely thankful for my health.
    Sue

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    1. Well said. Yes. So much to be thankful for, and so much to mourn. I try to come back to a Buddhist teaching about our inability to know why some are on what appear to be so much more difficult paths than others.. yet they are. I also hear a wise professor saying “it’s an “and”, not a but”... I am thankful.. and.. I grieve

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    2. Sue - I am thankful for all that you do to preserve the health of others. May good health continue for you.

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