"I've been aware of the time going by
They say in the end it's the wink of an eye."
_ Jackson Browne, The Pretender
Ten years ago, I cleared my desk and walked out of my downtown office into the world of retirement. In truth, I didn't retire all at once. I eased in, working from home a few hours a month for three more years. And then I walked away from it all.
I have never looked back.
In the early months, when I started to speak of my retirement, the word graduation would come out instead.
Freudian slip?
Well, maybe. It did, in fact, feel like a graduation. A graduation into a life of choice. Of available time. I have filled the available time with occupations of my own choosing. Writing. Gardening. Learning. Walking. Volunteering. Puzzles. Outings with my husband or friends. And, most recently, play with my grandchildren.
To be honest, play has not come easily to me in adulthood. I have, I confess, approached life rather seriously. What a wonder it has been, then, to relearn play side-by-side with my granddaughters, to partake of their joy in every new-to-them experience. What fun it will be when my grandson is old enough to join the pack. How fortunate I am to have lived long enough to experience this pleasure.
When I retired, I told myself I would be lucky to have 20 more years. And now ten years have passed in a heartbeat. I suspect the next ten will go by even more quickly than the first ten. The only days when time has dragged have been days when I have been down with a cold or a flu. And given that I don't invite illness, there is nothing for it but to embrace the rapidly passing days.
Of course, those rapidly passing days bring my end ever closer. I don't dwell on this, though; I do not expect an early death. If I follow in my mother's footsteps, I could be looking at not ten years, but twenty. Still, I know my days are numbered, so I will fill my cup to the brim for as many years as I have left.
And when my time comes, may the gift of these post-graduation years glide me gently into the mystery.
Poignant and beautiful, Marjorie. You make me want to pay closer attention to my own numbered days. Thanks, too, for quoting The Pretender, a favorite (that dates me). When I was first listening to that song, the adult lives that it depicted seemed remote and a bit sad to me. Years later they were merely relatable and remained so until now when they seem nostalgic and a bit callow. I was listening to this song the other week or month (recently) and thinking how timeless Browne's writing is except for "the junk man who pounds his fender". That image drags me back to the 70's. Ah, time. Thankfully you and I have those grandkids to help us stay and, if we are lucky, play in the moment. Blessings to you all. Happy New Year.
ReplyDeleteThank you, anonymous.
DeleteBeautiful, Marjorie!🩵
DeleteAlways a good and timely read my dear.
ReplyDeleteThank you.
DeleteI too graduated 10 years ago. I'm doing my best to live in the moment and enjoy each beautiful moment of this phase in my life. Thanks for a good read here.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Kim. I am glad you have come into my life.
ReplyDelete