A few days ago, a friend sent me the link to an article, saying it made her think of me. I was happy to receive and read the article, but here's the thing. I'm always surprised to learn that someone is thinking of me.
Why should this be?
People text or call me. Don't I know they must be thinking about me in order to do this? I suppose so; it just isn't top of mind until someone says something like, this made me think of you or I was thinking about you this morning. I know my life is entwined with the lives of others. I have deep and long-term relationships with family and friends. I think about people I know multiple times each day. Why shouldn't they be thinking about me?
I don't know.
And if people thinking about me is surprising, imagining them talking about me, is downright uncomfortable. Of course, we all talk about one another. This is usually a benign pastime. Sharing information or impressions. You know how it is, driving home from an event and deconstructing the evening or afternoon with whomever is in the car with you. Sure, sometimes it veers into the teensiest bit of criticism or concern, but I generally trust my friends not to tear me to shreds.
Still, I'd rather not imagine what people are saying about me.
(I recall that in one of the books in the Anne of Green Gables series, Anne comments that she does not agree with Robert Burn's line, “O wad some power the giftie gie us, to see oursels as ithers see us.” **
I'm with Anne.)
Finally, there's this. I never expect anyone to remember me. If I have met someone once or twice and have occasion to see them again several months later, I assume they don't remember me, even if I remember them. This only exacerbates my introverted tendency, when with a group of people, to stay in one place and talk to someone I know very well.
Does anyone else experience any of this?
Please comment below.
** Translation from the Scots: Oh, would some power give us the gift to see ourselves as others see us.
I think of you often and delight in your open heart deep faith and stellar mind. Happy New Year 🙏🏼💕
ReplyDeleteThank you, anonymous.
DeleteThe worst is thinking about my sons talking to each other about me. Maybe respectful, but who doesn't make fun of their mother!
ReplyDeleteGood point.
DeleteEvery time I see the hellebores, I think of you. 😉
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you are enjoying them.
DeleteI'm getting better about it since coming to understand that people-pleasing and approval seeking are process addictions. But I still sometimes obsess over what people may think of me, let alone say about me ... and even what they may be thinking I think. Now there's something to de-fang in the new year! Which leaves me wanting Robbie's gift, because it's likely more benign than what I am imagining. (But this is me after 7 days with wonderful Japanese guests for whom we fumbled the practice of New Years gifts. So thanks for the chance to unload a bit!)
ReplyDeleteI'm sure you didn't fumble too badly.
DeleteThis definitely happens to me as well. And thanks for the Anne Shirley reference!
ReplyDeleteOf course. I named my first born after her.
DeleteI care what other people think about me, but I very rarely think about them thinking about me unless I've recently been (or currently am) engaged with them.
ReplyDeleteMe either, except when they tell me they have been thinking about me.
DeleteI love to think about people and let them know, new friends and old. I treasure our friendship...it has stood the test of time and many transformations. You are a dear heart. Who else remembers riding bikes together to elementary school? The crushes of early loves? Turning sixty? and so on. Bless you, my dear introverted friend. I am exploding in extroverted gratitude.
ReplyDeleteBona
Thank you, dear Bona.
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